Talking to no one helps and its totally understandable(humans, including parents are bookish and serious and hopeless)... wat kind of crap i have got myself into, Gunah maaf thai gaya, or i wonder if i am being forgiven or this is adding to my sin :) and silence is adamant to take forever to grant me the solution:(...giving up never was, is or will be a possibility... Lerki u have got urself a wakhri fate:) as long as u r planning to get out a block buster... u have every rite to laugh abt this... but i do get this urge to some punch someone in the face...
Oh Khudaya.... maney itni beri galti kesey kerli.... i thot it was a childs play... yeh itna gruesome kesey hogaya...
But then i know i will never do it... yes punch u...nah... i am way to silly and stupid and respectful to do something like that... i am a neat girl and i will die being a neat girl...
i am lame... i am a loser... to love someone like u... there is no other way i wud have gotten myself into this hopless situation....God can u help me out... ok i give up... i thot i can handle this on my own... i am a big girl... but i guess i will never be big enuf to think i can think better of myself then u... so i kind of give u the reigns to handle this as u like... only make sure... u make it like really clear to me... so that my mind cannot confuse me into taking the wrong hint... clear signs one that i cannot unsee like the broad day... like make him ugly, scary , like a demon... dont make him goodlooking, charming, handsome... or sweet... make him like a villain... like a dinosaur, like a snake that u cannot find anything pleasing abt... stuff him with such bad stuff that as soon as i see him i like scream and run for my life... noooo not towards him away from him... like worlds away... to someone who really is who u wanted... so u know i can recognise him like my knight in the armour...God... i know i sound silly... and acting like this is a joke... but i wish it was i wish life wasnt serious... like bad ppl only were in movies and not in real world...and that u cud easily make out who is right for u and who isnt...i wish...:)
hmm....praying...good...
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