I fear it, i beg for it to not happen, i hope for it to not happen, i wish for it to not happen but one day may be it will happen and i wont be able to do a thing...my plights and screams will not stop it, my tears and breaking down and losing sanity and throwing fists around will not stop it and my reasons and justifications will not stop it... i will have to face it and live with it and i will feel wronged... i will hate my life but that wont make a difference, i will plead with God, Reason with him, even brutally shout at Him, call him unjust, it wont make a difference and then i will after a while give up and find myself moving along with it and seeing beyond it juts like a dawn comes after a night... and what i will find will amaze me, lighten me make me smile once again just a little brighter and fuller...something i was never to give myself a chance to ever experience if i had not been asked to part with what ever little i was holding on to... like a dying man holding on to the last hope and lifeline...thinking it would end with his/ her life... but when God gives u life, he also gives u a reason to live it and though we may doubt if we ever will come across something better more beautifuler then we have, we are proved wrong everytime when we are asked to let it go and move in the direction god reserves for us, whether we let go without a lot of hate or do it with patience and faith its up to us...
And yet to know i will have to see it, experience it tears my heart...makes me make a silent wish to never let me see it for i fear i wont be able to bear it. why will i be asked to part with you... see how i have strengthened myself, see how i am not letting myself down...
I dont really mind this distance... all i cannot let happen is to be one place and my heart somewhere else... if my heart agrees to go with me where i go... then i am not afraid to walk anywhere... but not without my heart...
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