Thursday, May 14, 2015

Its all coming back to me!

I wonder how life would have been with him by my side, as my half, as my soul.

To be able to know the place where the heart eventually is contented and finally has it desires achieved.

At home, with no more goals or wishes or desires. Only gratitude,  gratitude, bowing to God for his blessings, with no to demands, no needs, no desires and no crying over them.

No longing that pinches the heart oozing the tear from my eyes and burning them, or a fire of desire, burning the inside of me leaving me tossing in pain that is heart wrenching breaking me into pieces,  and a desire to have him  hold me, soothe me, heal me and lay me to rest, lay my soul to rest and peace with that hug... that's worth life itself that hurts more then death . That hug with the power to shoo away every fear, every tear every longing and every desire.

Something I can never have again... not in this life not in eternity.

I wish I was a dead soul with no heart to desire or need. A rock that could never be touched or moved. Even being rock would not be enough I wish I was like a stone unmovable, untouchable, impenetrable.

Long time!!!

Much has changed, except me and my views, feelings and dreams! They still beat inside of me... they still remain haunting me... they still demand to be spoken, counted, and quenched!