One day i got a call and my life changed forever.
One day i hugged u and my life changed for ever
One day i said my first i love u with silent tears falling from my eyes and my life changed for ever
One day i heard your heart thumping as you walked and my life changed forever
One day i heard from her and my life changed forever
One day you left me and my life changed forever
One day you sang that song and my life changed forever
And today as i write one email after another to you my life keeps changing.
Every word that comes out of my mouth, makes a hell of a difference in my and your life.
Life is changing and so are we every moment and second... i am not wat i was 15 yrs back... i am not wat i was 3 yrs back, when u were a nobody. today you have a name an identity, a presence that plays havoc with my life.
The fact that i hear from you and i cannot concentrate on anything makes me wonder wats this all about. the fact that u matter even if u live miles away, we never talk, we never see each other or hear each other...the fact that i reach out to you every now and then and u never stop me or put a ban on me... makes me take all the liberty in the world, sometimes makes me wonder wat this is about.
I still dont understand why that phone call happened... and though i hate how things progressed between us... i still dont regret a single sec of my life that had u in in it...cuz I remember that day when i heard u i felt my dreams have been answered, that u were created from all those ideas and fantasies i had carefully collaged over the over the canvas of my life for years, and as if God was keeping a count of every one of them and finally offered me you at the end of a long tedious, life claiming wait.
As if you were the gift of all those toils, and pains i had went through, those tears i had cried on my terrace asking God why, Why u cant give me that... as if he was listening intently only waiting for the right time to answer my every why?
You happened and i went down on my knees telling God, i beleive you, i love you, i am so very grateful to you.
But the whys keep coming up... all i know is once again Gods waiting for that right ttime to send me a sign... that will answer them... and God shall keep answering until i dont stop asking why?
and will only say... I accept! I beleive you! No more questions, no more desires, no more wants, no more!