Tuesday, November 10, 2015

What if?

What if i say i was in love with you
Will you be angry with me

Would you say back you love me too
Or would you even stop being friends with me

would it work out for us
or would it be like a fleeting bus
Will it be a lot of rush

I want to love you just for the sake
Have a walk with you near the lake
And hold your hands as we take a break

Nothing said as we stare
into each others souls or share
may be a word or two
as i place my fingers in your hair

Just do it for its sake
A friendship that would make
with nothing on stake

Will you hold me tight
as i lay awake in the night
and say those things just right

What if i say i was falling in love with you
will that make us two?

Friday, November 6, 2015

17 Small Things To Do Every Day To Be Much Smarter BY MENTOR PALOKAJ

1. Drink 2 glasses of water within 30 minutes of waking up

Since you’ve been asleep for hours, your body has not gotten water for 6-9 hours. Water is needed for the filtration of waste products and fluid balance. Two big glasses of water offset the fluid deficit you had from sleeping. Studies on kids (study 1study 2) show that drinking more water increases their ability to complete mental tasks. Make sure your brain is not dehydrated at the beginning of the day already.

2. Read a book summary during breakfast

Reading books is great, but breakfast is far more suitable for something shorter. Instead of reading news articles that have little impact on your life/intelligence, read best selling book summaries. You can find summaries by:
  • Googling your book title + summary, for example “7 Habits of Highly Effective People summary”
  • Use a summary subscription like Blinkist or getAbstract

3. Listen to stimulating podcasts/audiobooks during your commute

Even if you spend only 10 minutes on your bike like I do, load your phone up with intellectually stimulating audio. Good sources could be:
  • TED talks (their app lets you pre-download audio so you don’t eat your mobile data)
  • Blinkist has some of their summaries in audio form
  • Audiobooks you purchased
  • Podcast of your favorite authors

4. Drink green tea while working

Where caffeine makes many people anxious, green tea (especially Matcha tea) contains l-theanine. This aminoacid causes an increase in alpha brain waves in the brain:1-s2.0-S0924224499000448-gr3In practice this means that where coffee can induce anxiety, high quality green teas cause a relaxed focus without inducing sleepiness. This is also why l-theanine is available as a supplement to aid in relaxation and increasing cardiovascular health.

5. Take naps during the day

Napping helps your mind refresh. It’s been shown that napping during learning increases learning speed. Your mind has a rhythm that determines when it gets sleepy and when it needs sleep:Daily-Rhythm-Sleep-Wake-CycleAs you can see on average people feel more sleepy than usual between noon and 4 PM. This is a perfect time to have a nap, and will increase your alertness and productivity for the rest of the day. Personally I’ve has good results with post-workday naps too (around 6 PM).

6. Don’t take sugar during the day

In fact, if you can cut it altogether. But if you can’t for whatever reason, just make sure not to have it during times where you need to focus. Sugar highs and the following lows are not good to keep your brain functioning smartly. What does work very well are fatty acids. Try to switch any sweet stuff during lunch for something more substantial like fish or eggs.

7. Do social media / meme websites only a couple of times a day

The brain adapts to the information you throw at it. If you bombard it work non-stimulating and fast switching information your focus will get destroyed. Keep your brain functioning on a higher level by throwing stimulating things at it. If you feel the need to procrastinate, set a timer  and don’t get lost in mindlessly scrolling.

8. Play games instead of watching series or movies

Watching tv is a passive activity. Your brain is consuming information, but not processing or interacting with it. Substitute or supplement this entertainment with gaming. A 2014 study showed that even a simple game like Super Mario has visible impact on brain plasticity (flexibility). Another piece of research covered by Forbes shows the same. Actively engage your brain where you can, instead of letting it slumber passively.

9. Read a book instead of watching tv

Similar to playing games instead of watching tv, reading a book is an active exercise for the brain. Where watching video entertainment is a passive consumption of information, reading a book requires your brain to actively construct mental images of what you are reading.

10. Do some programming

Programming is a great way to learn to think logically and in patterns. Coding used to be hard to learn but with free websites like Codeacademy and free/paid platforms like Udemy it is easy and fun to learn. Consider it the next level of puzzles. As an added advantage learning to code in your free time increases your employability in the job market.

11. Watch TED talks while cooking

Preparing dinner is a great time to catch up on some cutting edge developments in Technology, Education and Design (ted.com). It turns what would otherwise be downtime into a fascinating and stimulating block of time. It’s like watching the news, only you are watching the world’s most inspiring individuals talk about their work.

12. Do some simple exercises during the day

The body and the mind are strongly connected. Physical fitness helps the brain function well. You don’t however have to go to the gym every day to benefit from this (though you can of course). Doing some push-ups throughout the day and walking or skipping up some stairs has a great impact already. Try to do something physical every hour or so, even if it’s just getting up, stretching a little and tensing all your muscles as hard as you can for 5-10 seconds.

13. Spend time with someone smarter than you

Habits are socially contagious. It is a well known fact in science that obesity for example spreads through social networks (link to research). The habits and thinking patterns of those you spend time with rub off on you. Expose yourself to people who are smarter than you in order to benefit from them.

14. Talk to people who disagree with you

Get into (friendly) discussions with people who disagree with you on any topic. Arguing with them allows you to either:
  • Sharpen your arguments
  • Be convinced that you are wrong
In both cases you win. In the first you convince the other person by out reasoning them, and I the second false logic you previously had is not eliminated.

15. Go for a walk in nature

Walking through nature has a number of benefits:
  • There is more oxygen since plants produce it
  • The human mind calms down when surrounded by plants
  • Walking helps your blood circulation
Having a walk in a park at lunch time can greatly help you work smartly for the rest of the day.

16. Carry a notepad

Great minds like Leonardo Da Vinci always carries a notepad. They used it to jot down ideas, sketches and questions they had for later review. Having a little book on you and writing down interesting things can greatly help you train your curiosity and logical thinking.

17. Take 10 minutes at the end of the day to plan tomorrow

By planning tomorrow the day before you begin the day with a plan. This allows you to work much more productively. Many people are busy all day, but not actually productive. A great part of being smart is knowing that hard work is inferior to smart work. Pick your battles in advance.

15 Signs You’re Doing Well In Life Even Though You Don’t Think So BY SARITA KING

Let’s face it, sometimes life feels like it’s falling apart at the seams.  Perhaps you’ve lost your job, or your marriage just ended, or you failed to pass an exam and now you are simply feeling helpless and defeated. Winston Churchill once said: “Success consists of going from failure to failure without loosing enthusiasm.” Today I want to remind you why, even though you may be feeling a bit like a failure, you are most definitely not.  Here are 15 signs that show you are doing well in life even though you don’t think so!

1. You’ve lived and learned

No one said life was easy and while the bumps on the road may hurt, the ride is definitely worth it.  Think back to your failures and defeats. You must know they were all for a reason and part of a grander plan.  Each difficulty has led you to where you are at today, each trial has molded you into the magnificent, resilient, person that you are. Continue to move forward in faith, hope and love, knowing that each experience has taught you what you need to become who you were born to be.

2. You have a comfy bed to sleep in

I’ll never forget an interview done on NPR a while back. A young Haitian mother told her story. She had little ones that constantly wondered when they would be able to eat and go to school like all the other kids around them. What impacted me the most about this story was their sleeping arrangements: they all laid on the dirt floor, and at night if it rained everyone would have to get up, grab whatever was left of their “bed” and move to a dry spot.  This story gave me a whole new appreciation for my bed and I hope it does the same thing for you!

3. You strive to be better

The fact you are feeling a bit down because you haven’t achieved what you want to achieve shows you are trying. In the grand scheme of things, you always strive to be better and for as long as you continue to do that, happiness, success and love will come – just don’t give up. Einstein once said: “It’s not that I am so smart, it’s that I stay with problems longer.” Hang in there and never stop striving to be all you can be!

4. You have/had a job

Whichever way you look at this one, it is still a win-win situation for you. If you have a job: kudos! Keep at it and know that you are richly blessed.  If you recently lost your job, don’t fret! You’ve gotten a job before, you can get one all over again. Perhaps this is the opportunity you’ve been waiting for to do something you truly love to do. Keep searching, keep hoping, and know that you can accomplish the seemingly impossible if you work hard and believe you can.

5. Knowledge is at your fingertips

In this day and age, you can learn anything and everything you want. Knowledge is truly at your fingertips! Since knowledge is power, seize that power and let it assist you in the pursuit of your dreams. Take advantage of all the “learning” opportunities that come your way.

6. You have food to eat

Sometimes a bit more than you should! Food is such an overlooked blessing, yet if you miss it for a few hours you start feeling the necessity of it. Take the time to enjoy your next meal, whatever that is, savor each bite and remind yourself that happiness is found in enjoying the simple things of life, such as eating a piece of pie.

7. You have the power of choose

Aristotle once said: “Excellence is never an accident. It is always the result of high intention, sincere effort, and intelligent execution; it represents the wise choice of many alternatives – choice, not chance, determines your destiny.”  Need I say more? Claim your power to choose.

8. You’ve experienced love butterflies or something like it

Ahh! To be in love…to feel your whole body literally react to that moment when you simply steal a glance from the one you are infatuated with. Experiencing such a natural, basic and simple, yet passionate moment will give you memories that will last a life time. You are beyond blessed to have experienced such a sublime moment!

9. You have clean water

This one should not be overlooked. Do you ever watch Bear Grills and all his desperate moves to get just a few ounces of muddy water? There are also people who aren’t going without water because they have a survival show, but instead because it is their harsh reality. Around 783 million people do not have access to clean water around the globe. Be thankful and fully aware that you are doing well in life even if you don’t think so.

10. You have a dream

Whatever your dream is, it’s yours. You have the ability to embrace it and create it. Don’t give up on dreaming or on your dreams. They are what life’s best things are made up of.

11. Your happiness is real

You have the power to choose happiness for your life in everything you do and in every circumstance.  Your happiness is defined by whether or not you are able to discern and seize an opportunity to feel happy. It may be something as simple as enjoying the laughter of a child.

12. You have clothes to wear

And sometimes too many options, which trumps your productivity, but that is another subject. The bottom line is, you don’t have to go naked through the streets or poorly dressed. You enjoy the blessing of being properly dressed for every occasion and have the ability to shield your body from the elements. Really, life would get very cold without clothes.

13. You have the ability to forgive

Can you imagine what this world would look like without forgiveness? Never mind the world, just your life! Imagine how bogged down, bitter and unhappy you would be if you did not have the ability to forgive other’s mistakes as well as your own. It would make it nearly impossible to live and most definitely a nightmare to move on with life when difficulties arose. You have the unique gift of forgiving and moving on.

14. You believe in something greater than yourself

For all the times you were so caught up in your own little world and drowning in a kiddie pool version of life’s problems, you’ve had the ability to step back and realize that you have something greater to live for than yourself.  Whether it is God, your family or friends, you can believe that your purpose is to achieve something that will be for the greater good or to simply bring honor to your God.

15. You have the opportunity to build global friendships

In today’s day and age, your best friend can literally be five thousand miles away yet you can still experience the beauty of that friendship. You have the unique capacity to be acquaintances with one person in almost every country of the world, something no other generation before the 1900’s was easily able to do. As far as I am concerned, your global ability to make friends is definitely a sign you are doing well in life, even if you don’t think so.

5 Great questions to ask yourself each passing day!

1.  What was the best thing that happened to me today?

2. What could I have done better today?

3.  What is the most important thing I must accomplish tomorrow?

4.  What new thing can I try tomorrow?

5.  Who is the most important person (or most important people) in my life and what am I doing for them?

Questions Series 1

1. Who am I really?
A girl with hopes dreams needs and desires and a few talents here and there and a Maula to take care of and be taken care by.
2. What worries me most about the future?
Not being married and not doing the things i am supposed to do.(which are ones that wont stare in my face and pinch me i didnt do them)
3. If this were the last day of my life, would I want to do what I am about to do today?
yes absolutely! i would
4. What am I really scared of?
Not having someone to love and be loved by when i need one most.
5. Am I holding on to something I need to let go of?
may be... may be not!
6. If not now, then when?
i dont know
7. What matters most in my life?
joy love faith maula and people who love me and who i love
8. What am I doing about the things that matter most in my life?
what things! nothing i guess. they all are there happily settled except me
9. What do I matter?
10. Have I done anything lately worth remembering?
yup i gifted him a frame. and thats about it
11. Have I made someone smile today? yes him and Humza
12. What have I given up on? nothing
13. When did I last push the boundaries of my comfort zone?  nothing really
14. If I had to instill one piece of advice in a newborn baby’s mind, what advice would I give? nothing i would let her take what she wants by herself just like i did
15. What small act of kindness was I once shown that I will never forget? there are many that i cant recall. 
16. How shall I live, knowing I will die? 
just like this i guess
17. What do I need to change about myself? 
may be be more happy
18. Is it more important to love or be loved? 
both are equally important
19. How many of my friends would I trust with my life? 
Nas/ Am :) thats good right
20. Who has had the greatest impact on my life?  
Aqa maula 
21. Would I break the law to save a loved one?  
may be yes
22. Would I steal to feed a starving child? 
if thats the only possibility and he is dying and crying yes
23. What do I want most in life? 
to be loved 
24. What is life calling of me? 
to help those i can
25. Which is worse: failing or never trying? 
never trying
26. If I try to fail, and succeed, which have I done?   
27. What’s the one thing I’d like others to remember about me at the end of my life? 
I was a lovely singer and i was a lovely person.
28. Does it really matter what others think about me? 
it kind of does
29. To what degree have I actually controlled the course my life has taken? quite a lot actually
30. When it’s all said and done, will I have said more than I’ve done? 
said more for sure. 

Thursday, November 5, 2015

Being Me!

I need to evaluate myself. Who am I, what am I and know for sure so I can not be influenced by what others think or believe.

When he left me I started to feel I am not worthy of his love. Something is wrong with me... May be I am not made for relationships or marriage.

I know I have weaknesses, but does that make it impossible for me to be entitled to a good, positive thriving, real, honest and beautiful life with another who I value and wish to be with.

I do know during our small relationship there were things I would say or do which I am not particularly proud of. But deep down inside me i know I tried my best to support and love him through whatever I was capable of while living moments I know I may never have the chance to ever live again. I may have taken a lot for granted: never thought i will have to let go of him; or having him by my side will not remain a norm. I may not have thanked him enough for the nice things or gave him more of the nicer things he might have expected.

But This is who i am. This is who i will remain being. I cannot let go of my essence. Its what breathes in me keeps me alive. its all there is to me. But if its not enough for anyone, then oh i am sorry,  damn i am hurting and God it kills me, but its impossible for me to be something or someone else or be what you may have approved.

I have learned this though that without acceptance there can be no relation. Without forgiveness without ignoring, without letting people be.