Tuesday, November 3, 2009

What is a smile worth?

A penny for your thought, he said,
I shook my head and said no
He asked why I would not share.
I said because I'm feeling low.

He quickly smiled and tried to cheer
Me with a funny happy face
It made me laugh a little bit
But it didn't change my pace.

My thoughts are worth much more than that
I told him as I smiled right back
Well, how much are they worth to you
Asked my good friend Mack?

A million dollars might help, I said
He shook his head up and down.
Okay my friend I'll give you that
If it will replace your grumpy frown.

How much is a smile worth
Between friends it's worth that price
I hugged him close and whispered I'm glad
We're friends because you're so very nice.

I wish we had not been

I wish we had not been

Like a broken road
Never reaching abode
I wish we had not been

Like a tear that neither falls nor dries
And a truth that is kept beneath the lies
I wish we had not been

Like words that could never reach your lips
And a chance before I notice slips
I wish we had not been

I wish we had not been so far
When close we cud be as we are
I wish we had not been

Listen to yourself!!!

Don’t phrase problems in negative. Don’t say I am sad. Instead, say “I need cheering up”.

Lot of us know what we don’t want / like and are always worrying and talking about it to ourselves and others. Our focus thus only stays on what we don’t have, don’t want , don’t like or can’t stand – i.e. The Problem.

However when we focus our attentions on what we want (SOLUTION)our mind is better able to work towards finding one that will produce the result we desire.

It will guide us through its acquired knowledge what we can do about the problem at hand. Also the same statement when said to someone will help him know what needs to be done.

By just saying “I am sad”, though we let ourselves and the other person know something is wrong but it may not give us or him a clue what can be done to rectify the problem.
Focusing this way on the problem and on the negative will only produce a negative outcome, why?

Ill show you why.

Instruct your mind this way “Do not think of a pink elephant”

What do u see in your mind. A big giant Pink elephant right?

But u instructed your mind to not think it. Even then it did exactly what u didn’t wanted.
That’s how the mind works.

If you want your mind to avoid doing something you give it instead what u want it to do. because it never stops doing anything it keeps doing something. If you won’t give it what you want it will do what it canJ but it will keep working nonstop.

So if you don’t want it to think about your best bet is to give it something you want it to think may be an orange instead. Now when you’ll say think orange I bet pink elephant will be out of the picture.

Phrases like “Don’t be shy/ nervous” at the start of an important performance will only heighten those feelings in you as your mind start conceiving what they are. So when next time you need that extra shot of confidence INSTRUCT your mind in positive by saying “ be confident , be calm be relaxed, be courageous , enjoy the moment “and let all the pictures and references come to your mind that shows what the words mean to you to ensure your mind helps you in achieving your desired goal.

Let your mind serve you best
Happy Journey!
(june 16, 2009)

Something called LOVE

Love is a binding force between two entities that holds them together. It’s the base on which the world is build and is the only reason worth to be alive for.

Often we see love as what its is shown in movies between two individuals calling each other by sweet names and displaying gestures of affection whether it is a kiss a hug or making love.

Although these all are acts of love, Love is just not limited to it.

I was touched by love when I was in class 6 and one of my friend had teased me with this one handome guy in our school matching me with him and I suddenly had started to fancy him as my knight in armour to be my only hope of finding solace and love which would free me from all the people who had hurt me or could cause me trouble.

My days would pass thinking abt him and my nights venting in his absence.

Years passed and I would console my heart that may be one day he would understand my love and return it with a gesture that would set me free and I would feel the glimpse of ectasy associated with what I felt true love was.

A glimpse of ectasy!!! huh and no matter how little that moment would be it would be worthy of years of pain and tears I would go through.

That is love too, but that kind of love is not a glimpse of true love but an absense of self love that one should have for him/herself that makes her worthy of a lot more than wasting herself for love of another who doesn’t care .

Than there is love that one has for the people around him who make his her life easy by being around in our need.

Love is a feeling a blessing a beauty that makes everything touched by it a vsion of ectasy. We all crave for love and sometimes we all have it but are unaware of it

Love is to give without asking any thing in re turn but the happiness that it generates. It’s the place where a man takes refuge and rest after the end of a harsh rough day whether its embrace of a lover or lap of a mother. Its that tear that falls from the eyes when a loved one parts from us and s smile that glows when we are united with the object of our affection. It’s the pastime that keeps us awake the whole night and the prayer that keeps us safe in the time of trouble. Love is the best gift of God to the mankind and a glimpse of God in itself.

Its true if its love, and when u feel it you know it. But to udnertsand it truly you need to be true to yourself because your heart cannot lie. Juts like you know when a touch is not warm, or agesture not kind so does your heart knows when u truly love something and when you are juts faking it up!

Think before you horn!

Noone learns anything about a car prior to learning how to horn. Its easy, simple and its HEARD. Atleast when you want someone to really know you are coming and get the hell out of your way.

Only a few realise how much of a nuisance this simple device is.

Traveling to USA and UK one thing i learned about their people was their relaxing attitude while they drove.

Waiting for hours in a road jam is not the part and parcel of living in karachi but also of these developed states where road block is a usuaal phenomena.

However what is not usual is their attitude and relaxing attitude towards it. Noone in his wildest dream ever tries to horn. Its the most ignoble act one finds it. And why not be, you horn either to get someone out of your way which otehrwise you would have to say yourself, or ask someone to listen to you or give you attention, or do you a favor, like open the door, come and take the order etc, etc. so that you save your energy

In karachi from horing someone to stay out of your way to making someone to get his asses going before the signal is green, horns are now used to help a person reach home early when someone behind him thoughlessly tries to yell at him to move fast or give him way.

I have been afraid of the damn hon when my carcomes close to a ditch thinking the bloody horn will be blown by the person behind mewanting me to fly like an aeroplane. unwanted i have to rush it trhough the hole damaging my carfrom every nick and cornerstahnsk to the smooth and plane roads tahtw e have.

Though we all know for sure that no man will ever want to stay ona signal after it has turned green, or will be standing in the mid of a road out of a stupid reason, we still know he needs to get a peice of our mind. Horning if not more is nothing less than shouting, calling anmes or even thrashing the otehr person .

So i tried this one day not to horn at anyone. and so i started to drive. And also i tried to pay no9 heed to the peson who horned at me from side, behind and everywhere.

When i foiund someone was trying to come in front of me i used brakes to save myself, remembering i am in control of mycarso why not exert it by oushing the brakes, rather than be out fo control and be angry at the person by reacting to his act.

When someone tried to push me of a hole by horning , i still tokk all the time to come to a lull get mycar in 1at gear and peacefully move from the ditch and move my way.

I for the first time felttaht i was in control fo mycarand not the person behiond me or in front of me.

So next time when you think of pushing taht adorable soft ounch in your car just remeber am i really so out of control as to let the opther person take the action and lead me through. Or that i am in control of my car justa s i am of my life and instead of asking him to stop from crossing or driving slow will use my gears and brakes to push my way through steadily and peacefully.

cuz when a guy crosses the road he definietly knows youa re cominga nd there is no need to tell him just that.

Be in control of your car use brakes more often then horns. you driving epacefully will give ample of reasons for other to be peaceful too and who knows this small peaceful act may on the whole pacify our rushed and stressed lived a little bit more.

Making the most of Load shedding

“Damn! Here it goes… I wish KESC dooms…”. My 20 year old bro screams banging his hands around the PC as it blinks off without as much as a warning. “That would mean no electricity dude…” I replied with a wit that I keep for such moments to tease my little bro…

“Come out of your stinking den and have a cup of tea “ said I chuckling….

It was 5 in the evening and time for me to have my evening walk but before that it was time to have a cup of tea on the terrace watching the birds and doing some thinking.
I unlike my bros and so many of his kind, was never extremely pissed when the light went out especially when it was evening or night time… With all the light shut out it was beautiful outside. Our neighborhood got quite and lively both at once… kids would come out of the houses and females would some out to sit on benches or generally come together to kills the idol time without the blaring TV and his twin brother PC that was an addiction sane people had hard time getting over… Surely without these two devices life was frozen… unthinkable completely handicapped… in my bros words “totally doomed”… but for me it was a time to reunite to come together and to be peaceful enough to hear our heart beats, breathing and a chance to enjoy nature… We used to go onto the galleries… It was beautiful to see the Moon light that was not visible with the street and house lights and if it was a full moon u could see your shadow too…. It was beautiful and relaxing and worth something truly gracious, my due apologies to all those kids who were forced to leave their study because of it but lets see the brighter side of this curse…. Think once again before you curse next time the light goes out.

First of all it helps us get better organized during the day! “What the ----! She is crazy…”you might tell me but seriously I have a point….As you plan your day by breaking it into hours with light and hours without light all u need to do is keep more of the tasks that can be done without electricity for the hours when there is a break down… and the rest of the time for tasks that would need PC, TV, washing machine, water pump, electric grinders, sewing machines, bla bla bla….
Why not organize that drawer you had kept pending for months now or clean a section of a room that has always missed being in the list of things to do.

Time Management never could come as handy as when living in Karachi. Use this time to plan the next week goals and activities or tomorrows plan. Keep tasks like things to be hand washed for these hours so that when the electricity comes you can have an undisturbed time to work on the PC or watch your favorite movie or TV show and wont need to leave in the middle of something interesting or important.

Second it definitely helps us develop a healthy life style by freeing up some time and space for things other than TVPC…(By no means i am against these two devices but i feel everything has a time and space and with these two claiming our attentions most of the time we simply have to realize we are not using them in great proportions. We can use some time to read the book that can never be taken out as you kept shifting between PC and TV and back to PC like a pendulum…. I know in case of my my bro its not unusual to see him bouncing from one to other like a ball without any resistance….Load shedding is the only friction that stops the bouncing back and forth… I swear…. It helps us cope up with the TV PC syndrome that whether we like it or not makes us nothing more than a coach potato…. Seriously wanna bet on that….

Breaks! Do we really think about how our bodies curse us when we keep going on chatting or working long hours without as much as change of posture… or blinking our eyes. Load shedding enables you to take breaks which otherwise we denied our tired bodies.
It also is an ideal time to try that new work out u learned but never got a chance to practice with those two… claiming every minute of your attention.

The hours can provide you with best scenario to have a candle lit dinner with your sweet heart or play small pranks on your little ones to lighten the atmosphere… kids could really have fun time listening to scary stories of monsters and ghosts during the night or feel great about having a dad like you as you told them your heroic acts from childhood, to play games as you sit cuddled up around in the lounge and leave your respective dens to which you are glued otherwise and have some family time… have conversations ranging from topics of what’s happening in politics to the education plans r a career change you alone were thinking….telling jokes asking riddles and getting closer to each other, which in this busy times has become difficult if not impossible.

It is a good time to make your creative side plunge out as you pick up those brushes and try some painting or make some handicrafts or try that project sitting in the corner waiting desperately for your time and attention. You can use the time to improve your writing skills, prepare for your GRE tests or do some writing and composing.

It can be a good time to oil your hair, make some home made masks and apply it as you lie down peacefully, or take a long hot bath to rest your tired body…

Use it as meditation hour to clear your head from the daily stresses and worries and awake your subconscious to help you think better and create solutions your weary busy mind was unable to think otherwise with so much going on around. It could be an ideal time to brainstorm ideas you need for the next project due.

In evenings it can provide you with a break and a sound invitation to go out for a walk if your neighborhood is quite and peaceful, visit your neighbors and friends or go upstairs to your terrace to enjoy the cool evening breeze as you sip your favorite cup of tea alone or with family.

Man is never happy in any situation… but a man always has the ability to be happy in almost any situation.

Load shedding undoubtly one of the most troubling facts and parcel of our lives that we cannot easily scratch and throw out but neither less we all are intelligent enough to use it to our best advantage only if we are in to be a slight bit creative and positive about it.

I sincerely hope the hours of power failure be less and few or completely gone in the coming future but while they don’t, lets make the most of the lifestyle we are prone to live with. Happy Curse Free Load Shedding….

Flowers of Our Garden!

Children are natures most beautiful gift to his creation. And as such preserving them and their state of innocence is a very important feature in their upbringing.

Innocence is a quality which is lost as we grow up. Spontaneity, the habit to question, to think, all are sabotaged and most importantly their identities, and the need to express their feelings and thoughts are hampered as they interact with grownups in forms , of parents, teachers elder siblings and so on.

Often as parents we don't realize the importance of the role we are supposed to play. We have to not only provide them with food, secure life, clothings and shelter but love, quality time, accessibility and willingness to answer their questions and explain ourselves and things we ask them do as best as we can.

And of course expose them to all what is good and help them cultivate abd brig out their own ceativity and personalities.

Worrying about which school they attend is not as important as trying to know how they process the information they get. Worrying about food is not as important then knowing why they are not eating and what they really want. Worrying about whether they drop food around is not as important as understanding how u can make them learn. And worrying about why they are not good at math is not as important as why they spend so much time alone without interacting with others.

You don't need a Dr. or engineer or an impressive kid. All you need is a happy cheerful child who is communicative, positive and happy to share his thoughts with you.

Listen to yourself! how you talk, what you impart to them, what you offer the,, and if it really is what they need to listen and know and learn.

Do not pamper them you will spoil them. That''s not the prove of love. Don't shut them off, don't belittle them in front of others don't ask them to put up with something unnecessarily. Thats not the way to show you love them and thats not the language they need to learn.

Listen to them, watch them closely as they grow, talk to them, teach them in the way they like to learn and most importantly be there for them on every turn in their life.

Take their sides when they are right even if the other person is a son of the president of US. Reprimand them when they are not fair, even if its the peasant's son in front of him.

Talk talk and talk. love love and love, support support and support.

Leave good examples for them to follow. Be good to your spouses in their presence so that they respect both parents and don't judge one to be good or bad, and help them be good to their siblings and people in general.

Help your child grow and be his best self. Do all that you can do to give them the environment that encourage them, accepts them and help them grow and learn. What they ultimately end up being, is i guess not in your hand.

Its easy to feel frustrated, irritated and disappointed when your kid is not as u want her to be. Instead think if it was really that necessary, to do things u never wanted, to be someone u never wanted to accept something u never wanted? If not then remember its ok if they break a few rules and don end up doing exactly what u hoped themto do.

Instead of trying to perfect them try to cherish them and every moment of parrent hood as it comes.

Dont exhaust yourself so much that your most amazing time in life juts passes you by... Have a good life:)

I counted on you whenever in need
I called and you were there.
you are my friend, my friend indeed
A precious one and rare

Valentines Day (written on Nov 14 2008)

I just want to be a flower; I just want to be a rose,
I want to be in a valley, where the river flows!
I seek to fly where heaven ends, make the clouds my home
I plan to live my life in travel, exploring as I roam!

I live to wash your tears away and chase away your fears
Cuz life is not a pain to suffer but a bliss to feel and share

Don’t lose that dream my friend not now when its about to come true
Dont make this world take away your faith when miracles are leaping for you

This life is yours live it as you want, don’t ask for others approval
Live like a king, make your own rules, go out and be the winner

When time is worst and u feel low don’t panic and rush to escape
Its telling you there are changes to be made, its there to get you in shape

So get in shape, be on your feet, rise and be in tact
The heaven is waiting to shower you His bliss, its time to run and catch


theres only one hitch in getting abt your dreams, u may have to follow the road alone until someone u wud like to accompany would start to follow or just walk along:) to give u hope and courage and share the joy!

live it now! truly fully madly!

Now is the moment to enjoy what u have and u can rather than worry abt the future, cuz every day in the future will be a day just like this in your hand and the time for you to decide to eitehr make the most of it or not

Monday, November 2, 2009

Something to Smile About

Have I left my ability to smile or that the stresses and burdensome thinking has left me paralyzed.

I know I am not the only one who worries abt why funds are lavishly spend in beautifying the city when there are millions of people sleeping hungry every night in their roofless homes.

I don’t intend to depress you all or don’t get an impression that talking to me will only bring you morally and emotionally down…

The reason why I am telling you this is that I need your help in identifying me the techniques where you all can keep the non serious laid back attitude when u see the depressive state of our city and people all around you…

It’s a treat to hear someone laugh in public and on the go… while driving the only expressions I see around me when I see people is that of hopelessness, frustrations, frowns, blankness, bleakness, depression, devastation, suppression, regression, aggression, apprehension, restlessness, stresses, and disappointment of all sort… No eyes I see are shining with a hope or a dream or looking forward to where they are heading….

No sign of a childlike curiosity, wonderment, faith, fearlessness, craziness.

While waiting in the car I have no other option but to see straight…. Even if in forgetfulness my head wud turn to one of the sides, the women or men or even a kid would look at me with so many suspicions or frown that I wud have nothing but to set my gaze back to neutral position…We are eating disgust, dirking, frustration and excreting aloofness in the environment… and all this is adding to the air of hostility lying around us….

And now I literally find no reason to smile as I look around me… but die to hear even a most stupidest joke that anyone around me makes to get the doze of adrenaline rushing into my body…. Juts to ensure I don’t end up losing all my color before I reach 40.

So when my bro came out from the khan store chucking… I cudnt help but ask what made him laugh… he told me the khan told him… (you know na what your parents call you? Husain patla (thin) husain chuckled and said abhi mhota hogaya to? And they both laughed… ) Nothing extraordinary as per the taste of a us pakistanis…any joke that is not to kae it to the laughter challenge is not worth laughing at I believe as per our perfectionist phsyche, and also we need a lot long warm up to really get our smiling and laughing muscles to operate on jokes like these. But it was enuf for me to laugh and feel a bit lighter.

But I realize smiling and laughter are the most instantaneous and sure remedy for any kind of stress you are facing… and laughter therapy made a lot of sense to me…

According to it… when ur body is happy u smile and when u smile your body feels happier and healthier and u automatically y reduce stress…Just like only if u control your breathing you will feel a much difference in your emotional state… try breathing deep in time of heavy stresses you will automatically feel relaxed… try doing it when u are angry you will automatically start to soften and let go…similarly place a smile on your mouth when under great stress or burden or simply start laughing and ull see the negative energy goes miles away….(all this if u cannot surround yourself with positive energy in terms of some light hearted fun loving colleagues, songs of positivist or beautiful surroundings)

I visualized how I am going to look on a typical day. Whether it is my boss, my colleagues, a customer or a subordinate…. I ill have a smile plastered on my face… no matter how much my body and heart will be against this effort and my mind finding all kind of reasons to let me take it back saying, a hollow smile isn’t worth it, don’t be a pretender now, or u look like a fool, u r hitting on him etc and I will only have one word for the line of reasons shut up and stop stressing me….u dumb head… u urself vote the solution and u hardly can support me when it comes time to practice it… what a loser of a mind are you… I am smiling for my sake not theirs and if they get any other meanings out of it it’s their problem…

I know what will happen; as soon as people will see me smiling they will lose their defenses, against me… I will be inviting them to loosen up themselves except they are those bunches who find it impossible to laugh at someone lower then their own breach…. As for them I don’t give a damn…. I still have a even bigger rebellious smile for them…

With this attitude I will not only be guarding myself against the ongoing throws of stresses and hopelessness that keep coming on and know that hope still survives but also be able to transmit it to others who have given It up in their today in their tomorrow in their God in their city and in themselves.