philosophical thots ..... my own!!! (read at your own risk!:)

# and i stopped thinking and talking and started doing. little by little; step by step. and it was not long when i realized how far i have come doing.

# We are not really afraid of death, bad or good... what we are really scared of life... A bad long one!!!

# Do we marry for God or for our own selves  I would like to do it for myself... i would like to think i do it for myself. God doesn't benefit from this. Only i do. so if marriage is for my on good and benefit.  i should marry someone i like and want to. and not someone who comes up to me and says he wants to marry me... or one my mom or dad or bro or uncle thnk. Not getting married should harm me... but if i marry the wrong person or without my own will it would be harmful the same or even more

so these ideas : it will all get well in the end. We don't always get what we ant and that's not how it works . and  its important for u to start family by now... doest do it for me... they scare me yes... but the don't motivate me to kill the nail!

so if u do really for any reason wish for me to marry, you ill have to come with some better motivation techniques and convince me well on ho the decision will benefit me.

Now why i would like to marry? and why would i like to marry him? lets see what i can come up with... but before that... one more thought i wanted to share...

Is it that there are some ppl like me and you up there who cannot make it to this world cuz i am so adamant and not marrying giving birth... is it that cuz i or anyone else is not cocreating... there is a number of ppl above ... who are unable to make it to the world, like we all did.

And by not marrying i am actually deprivinf these souls, their right to exist in this some days a God forsaken world... who wud become a part of me... but . are just as much of stranger and unknown as u the reader is...:) but whether i would like to give birth? what are my motivations for giving birth to 2 boys?

now there are two questions i need to be able to answer
Why to marry ?
If marry why it has to be only him?
Why do i want to have kids?

And if any of these things some how don't happen... how bad will that be for me, for them, for the world 'for my parrents and family?

pls dont inform me abt the answers and your thought  i only want to come up with all their answers...

# a lot of things happening around seem very unfair. But god is not unfair? then how these things seem so unfair? Who is to be blamed? those who committed this unfairness? but why God let it happen , harm fall on ppl? A child being abused to death by a parent a relative a guardian a stranger? innocent kids dying in the war? having to deal with loss of their family at such a vulnerable age. a father to lose his kid in the tsunami... seeing him trail away in the flood in front of his own eyes and being helpless to do a thing? We may think after death they are in Gods hand and yes they are but the pain... we see them going through... seems so unfair... or probably... it seems unfair to us the judge rs probably not so to the people who suffer it? any enlightening thoughts?

# i wish these thoughts leave me and stop bugging me

# I realize that the biggest disappointment i ever have would be not being a part of something great while i could have cause of feeling  imperfect. 

Now what i ask myself? what actions i must be taking that i am not? the answer is there in my head. but i am not really ready to listen to it... it is frighteningly possible and painfully difficult:(

Why fear? when you know you never will be asked to handle something you can't. 


Why i don't think that is the truth.

# Is it our feeling we are imperfect, that makes us imperfect? how can we change those feelings?

# Someone stop me from drowning in my own created sea of dread, fear, doubt and helplessness and inaction.

# the paradox of wanting to be everywhere and also  being able to make a significant impact in each place.

do as you wished for yourself to do... not as you are accustomed to do! 

Like being unprepared for a test, being unprepared for a relationship will very often result in frustration and failure.

what impresses me in a guy? Well!!!

a guy that doesn't smoke

a guy who does his own thing walks his own path...

who do things even if he fulfills his duties well and with honest and dependability even if not motivatingly

who tries to make it there, be there and stand strong

who gives reasuring smiles to his GF/ wife / kids and family

who is concerned for the well being of his family and close friends

who is profound and loves adventures too

who likes to cuddle and hug and offer warm conversations

who inquires deeply about you

who laughs full and smiles well

who doesnt necessarily cry but can be seen hurt and pained and doesnt feel insecure about it. who feels deeply

who shows his displeasure by avoiding the thing

who carries himself well in all walks of life and is polite  to everyone

who doenst try to impress others and show every one how cool he is...

# Why should i get over Him.

Mom! Why should i get over him? Dad? why? bro ? why sister. why? friends Why? Ego? why should i get over him? God why should i get over him? Maula Why? Imam husain? Why?

You? Why should i get over you? How should i get over you? Now that you plainly have told me you don't care and not to bother you. 

why even this doesn't help me get over you. It doesnt answer my heart

My broken heart, Why not?  What will make you get over him? What? i will try bringing millions of reason... if you promise you will give up and move on!!! But do you promise you will get over him then?

Is it cause he hasn't hurt you enough to invoke feelings of hatred and repulsiveness that you usually need to get over someone...Is it that you haven't had enough and there is more pain you want to experience before you can totally be free of him and his clutch on your heart!

But aah he wont be a sport. He has told you straight he wont let you play with fire and burn yourself before you realize your mistake.

Why then you are so adamant of playing with Fire. You were more rational as a kid... what has gotten into you. Where is all your sense gone? What do i do with you?

# you are both the best and the worst thing that happen to me.. but its my hearts wish to only see the positive in u and let go of the negative


How do we know what we know is the truth?

You hear how there's always two sides to every story, so how do we know what we know to be true is really true? Everything, from the news to books are controlled by other people, and are therefore, filtered through their bias before they reach us. If our beliefs dictate what we know to be true, than doesn't that meant that nothing is true (since beliefs are theoretical?)

Ans. anything that is a fact is a true. anything that you know for sure is the truth. anything you want to beleive/ beleive is the truth. i see an aeroplane... so i know its the truth... i feel the wind so i know its there and its true. what u r talking abt... is the trust... whether u can trust a source to be sharing the right info... and th3e piece of knowledge imparted is truth. it depends on two things... one you know the source wont lie to u... the two u urself hav a proves whats being told is truth and u have seen it yourself. everything else can be manipulated... but just cuz u think other is saying lie wont make it a lie... and just cuz u assume someone is telling the truth wont make it true... but truth does exisit... and its true there is a lot goijng around which is lie... there is stll a lot which is true... u just need to be lucky to experience the right stuff. science... cannot prove the start of this world... and nor can rove whats going to happen in the future... it dont know the unknown... but that doesnt meaan there is no unknown... before i entered stuff here... i was pretty uch unknown to u all... but thqat doesnt mean i ha not existed for all this time...:) science still is a learner like me aand u... those who bases their wisdom on it... aare settling for less...


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