Love is a Mistake! But one worth Making!

i am happy abt it... making a mistake always makes me happy, for it opens me to the possibilities that i had locked on myself cuz of fearing it...

But like every mistake u make... u have to pay a small price... sometimes it comes with a broken leg, sometimes with a broken heart, sometimes with a broken trust, sometimes with a broken teeth:) and sometimes with a broken dream and hope...

I emailed him... i was asked by maula not to converse with him but i did it... after waiting and keeping myself away every time remembering Maula has asked me not to and getting that will to keep myself away from a trouble which was tempting... i cudnt... today... i wasnt meaning to send him this email... like an urge i had always i used to write it and then delete it... but this time... when i entered hoping to go on to the next line... something horrible happened... i was on FB messaging and there when u enter it means u send it... and so i was done... doomed done... now i wait for the reaction from u... which i hope is one which frees me from u... or blends me with u... sometimes as kids when we want to run into that very thing that is there to destroy us we are asked by our parrents to stay away from... they use anger, they use every kind of possible way to make us do which they know is best and... as kids we somehow finally get over it...cuz we havent yet learned abt being a rebel and how good it feels to be so... but as a kid i was never a rebel... anything that i cudnt tell my parrents abt was a no... it was wrong simple and farida wudnt do it... not juts that... u cudnt even tempt her to do it... the only way u cud make her do it was to get her drunk... and u wud have to be a devil to do that...

But as if i was blinded... or may be so much of failures in hooking up and being true to someone had made me a little flaky and unsure abt myself... so much as to blindly give in to ur unjust demands... just to make it happen... but everytime i made a wrong deal... i paid for it... and didnt know when i got myself into a sticky place, which wud only lead me to hopelessness, despair, dishonour and mess... nothing good could come out of this...and may be some goodness in me saved me from it... or may be someone loved me too well to help me in this time... and if he had not loved me so well i wud have not known what i had got myself into... this is how temptations work they blind u and turn u into a sinner... and u dont even know or recognize it... and then u juts get lucky if u are able to say no to it... and hold on to it... its juts a matter of luck that u created for urself being a good person in many places, making the right choices, doing the right thing... even if it hurted u...:) getting in trouble is no big deal... getting out of it is... and it seems one more time i got myself in trouble... but then i had been in trouble since the day u entered my world...if i come to think of it... if u r trouble then i wont be trouble free until u leave as silently as u come...