It always happen, when i act on my most pressing impulse, without thinking the after math... and as soon as i am done with it... and await my destiny to unfold... i feel like i am abt to have the worst or best times of my life and its scary like hell...
so in case its the worst... i wud like u all to guard me... :( and strnegthen me to take it ...
So here it is wat i did...
instead of mailing his Ex... which was way harder and complicative... i emailed him instead... to find a cure for myself...:)
i tried being as matter of fact and possibly agreeable as i cud... but i see he actually saying something really nasty... but i can take it... really ... but i so wish he doesnt... that he says something so nice and warm that all my fear trickle away... and i am able to breathe happily again...:)
but wishes wat wud others care for wat i wish... and He... when its his wish he is more concerned abt then anyone elses...
but heres wat i emailed... Guys i need someone to sheild me ...from the coming reaction...
i need your help... i think i can use some help...i will email u telling u the problem i am facing... and u will give me the answer based on wat u think is the best for me to do. but you wont give me a suggestion, you will have to give me an order. that i will have to do and no ifs and buts...so like when it is to stop doing something i will stop no ifs and buts...and when it is to do something i will do it period... Can u do it ? just dont be cruel, for example if ull ask me to work for the company i left, ill tell u meiney qasam khayi thi... ke mein merjaoongi magar wapas nahi jaaongi... to pls... dont ask me to... i wont... lekin haan if i will find a better employer i will gladly do watever it takes...or atleast i think so...but ill try to do it...
this is wat i emailed him...
i dont know his reply wud be... but he can be pretty nasty at times... and totally adorable at others... i dont know ever wat to expect...:) this time... i am just not hoping its a mad angry lion...who doesn't give a damn
You seem to be in a real dilema over this guy! I hate how you seem to be doing all the work, why doesn't he fight for your relationship?
ReplyDeleteThough I'm sure when he reads how heartfelt you are in your email he won't be nasty :)
well if u really see i am not fighting over him, i am fighting over my life... and doing all it takes me to be happy u know like every small step not caring where it lands me with or with any one... better or worse...
ReplyDeletei think he is fighting too... may be not for me but for his life... and somewhere we both are linked up, until we are totally broken off, or completely blended in...
we dont do a favor to anyone when we love... its a favor we do to our ownselves...always! so in that case if he is not fighting for a good thing... its he who is depriving himself not that i need to worry wat he does or doesnt... i am his friend and my own best friend...
more then him i need this...why else u think i wud be in it...