hi
are you mad at me for being disrespectful or saying wat i did... well actually u can be... cuz i am mad for all u did wrong... for the right things i still have a warm spot for u and faith that one day it will surpass and outlive the wrong ... but its a long way to go...:) and u r not alone... we all are on the same journey... i may not be as wrong as u... but i am still wrong... with some ppl... and if they had not been so deadly in love with me and forgiving ... i wud have been doomed by now...
i wish u well in life ... like i always did... and i guess you are doing fine... i am fine too... not perfectly fine... which i never was nor ever will be... and even if i end up being so in a moment... it wont remain so forever...
i met this person from india who is an outstanding person and writer... and imaginative...it has been truly a wonderful expeirence coming across him. and i realise i miss being friends with u...but if u were not a guy or someone i cant be with other then for marriage reasons... i wud have gladly been your friend and not let my limitations become expectaitions....
but i guess God has other plans for me and i am totally cool with wat ever they are...
its when they choice part comes and he gives me reign to be the decision maker i kind of panic and do both good and bad things...but with no right mind... but never a bad heart!
why is it this way, why God created so many restrictions to be with u... that i can only be with u if i marry u and care for u... and am cared by you and be faithfull to u and be loved back by u with earnestness and sincerity...
if i had not wanted this for myself... and if i cud be with u... like those indians guys and gals who find it so easy to say their heart out and still keep in a limit... and know they will not ever go beyond it... with u i never cud form those limits and wasnt it this fear i wud have never feared being with u... even for once... and i guess neither wud have u...
God i wish i can find a way out of this...
:(
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