Nothing scares me more then losing possibility to get in touch with u... to know the ways to reach you are not being narrowed down for me... and extinct... even if i hardly make contact, nor u listen, nor u pay attention, nor u reply...
for as long as i can see ur face, and know a few things... i feel my breath comes good, for a little fear of losing u for good makes them come short....
was it like that for you too... i think yes... not for me but the one you loved.
So if i am not really interested in marrying you, dont even trust you to be the right guy for me, dont even think i can forgive u and forget the past events...cant even know if i will treat u with the same awe and love and respect like i did, why i cant let you go and forget all abt you...
Its really kiddish of me to hold on to you for some desire to never be empty of u...
may be this stupid kiddishness will cost me my future and life...
Is it worth it... when u are all past me... to hang on to your thoughts your name, your hope, your desire ... when u are so out of reach, not even worth the chase...
I have no idea where is this leading me and why?
i wish i cud ask Maula now to erase you and everything of u from my mind heart and soul cleanse me like i never knew you, like u never happened...
i know if he helps me... it can happen.... and clean this mirror for another face, one that is bound to stay there for ever...
for i dont blv in short term, bound to end things
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