Saturday, October 8, 2011

Last Resort or First

when nothing works, last resort is to ask God to do it! but i now reach to God as soon as something doesn't work or i face a problem and i am not sure wat to do and don't want to wander a lot! it feels great to reach out and know he is there, but is that right to do to ask help so often from God? cuz i do know he listens even if he ignores sometimes based on the kind of thing i am asking for help!:) at times i can be pretty stupid with the kind of questions i ask!

i know he wud sometimes hold his head in his hands listening to my bla blas...

well i am stupid i know.... but how else am i going to learn.... besides he is not like humans to tell me off when wat i am asking is not wat they want to talk abt, or he doesnt have an answer for my high level asnswers, he never tells me off... i can go to him as often as i like and he still wont be tired of my questioning and stupidity, nor will be short of the answers i require... cuz he knows me and wat i am capable of ever asking... remember all i have is God gifted yes including that brain and heart and soul i so lavishly shove around! and yes my looks too... he cud have created me an ugly hag and i cud cry all day long but gladly and thankfully he created me in the best shape possible for a person like me, so i cant be grateful enuf for all the bounties i so lavishly use...

But how God ends up being there for me is something i cant expect from anyone out here, not even my bros, not that they wud mind having super powers to make my world perfect, but still its not possible for them to have them! so i often think then why wud i need any of u except that life will be pretty frightening without u all, even though i know its God who sends help for me, you ppl ensure i dont get in a place of danger alone in the first place !

the fact that i am looking for someone who wud listen to me, undertsand me, answer me, and explain it so well to me... is may be a need i shud let go... for wat if u cant fulfill this criteria ever...

does that mean u are incapable of getting my approval and love...

the fact i need God, more then anyone still remains true... but the fact that i need to say yes to a man and move on with him on the path to God, take his hand and start to build a world i possibly cant make alone even if Gods there with me every second of my life...is something i shud always remember, but my incapability get married lies in the fact that i cant understand wat is right enuf to expect from a man... and who that man shud be?

who is going to tell me that if not my heart, if not God? and if not you Maula?

My mom and dad, my bros, my friends, or those countless ppl who think they know wats right for me more then i ever can know cuz they are more experienced and lived more yrs here then me...

duh!

See i know who can help me... god, myself and Maula...

anyone else... first pls get help for urself then come to help me ok!

I am not indestructible... but i am definitely not a fool to not know who is my right aide and source of knowledge and wisdom in this world:)

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