Saturday, July 2, 2011

Absence!

Gulab how r u doing ... i so wish i had a camera that cud see u just now! what u might be going through or enjoying! thinking, hoping, learning, wondering! seeing, coping, appreciating bearing! everything... and wish i cud be that Armour that protects u from bad nazar!!!! God bless u and turn u out in a great guy! like the great kid u r!

You took my heart everytime i saw u, there was a need to be on watch for u... a need something deeper, which i cant put out here... but God knows wat i am talking abt... and thats wat matters... for him to know my intentions, my hopes, my fears and my hopes... for only he has the key to help me... and ensure anything in my life...

but i have been away from u... and i wonder when i meet u again which i will may be... for i know u r the reason why i dont feel like quitting this place to see u everyday...i still wonder that when i meet u again... those feelings will reappear, will have the same intensity as before or will i be seeing u with a different lens...:)

those i love it so happens my lens shows me the same picture no matter how many years later i see them! thats how love is it doesnt change no matter wat u show it put it through... it retains and reprroduces the same result... everytime...

you know wat i am thinking... before leaving u... i thot of u like someone who gave me a reason to survive...his absense...i felt may be i will eventually able to fade the pain and him in ur presence...

and i did... as my heart concerned itself with u and how to make it easier for u... better for u... in the moment... he was overshadowed...

now... i am wondering on ur return will that concern resume... and where will it lead me...are u part of the plan my destiny... well i dont mind if u r, only if i dont lose or leave something imp while i accomodate u... soemthing detrimental...

all these answers will finally come out, these mysteries will get solved...they have to:)

and yes my trip is postponed... everything is part of the bigger plan... excitement will continue... but not that this delay is longer then i anticipate... but trust me as i was thinking to be in bombay... there was something not coming right... there were lot id wat if... and my intensity of the tasks had gone down...

i wonder why it happens... but it says something... we need to decipher wat our heart and God is trying to tell us...

no need to be impatient or disappointed... lifes major success come from major disappointments... if i say this will it give everyone a new hope... i hope it does... do we have a choice... unless we want to end up crying and feeling sorry...

Guilt is another thing... those who cant feel guilt on even their sins....i wonder how they find salvation... or do they?

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