I am now scared of U

so i know i have issues and now on top of that i am scared of u...the only person i wanted to be with! where does it leave me... and i know u wont do a thing to help me get back comfortable with u!

I am scared to make that call... to hear ur confessions, and insulting remarks... to hear u belittle me and my feelings once more... to relive that day where u had smacked on my face and i was able to feel everything but hatred for u...

if only i was able to hate and be indifferent to u... i wud be such a happy girl... but i cant...

So when he asked me... wat i want to do... and i said wait...he said you cant live like that... and i said... all of u know to tell me wat i shudnt do, why cant u guys tell me wat i shud do, to which he said we will tell u... we shall help u meet ppl... and i said wat if i say no to them all like i have been doing....

Are you going to force me... He said no... you will do it only when u r convinced urself... we will never force u... then i said wats the point... i know in my heart he is the only one i want to be with...

But then yesterday, i spotted two guys who i was trying to envisage in the picture and i cud see a happy me... contrasted with u... with u i saw a scared me...

But those two were way younger then me... and probably not even aware of my thoughts...Oh why you had to do it? See what you have left me to feel and think and even do!

Advise to man... if you cannot marry a woman... dont ever say those three words to that woman...I love U , dont kiss her, dont woo her, dont hug her... u wud rather hit her and abuse her but u dare not make her fall in love with u... unless u are planning to marry her and dont take forever to bring her home... Faith will make it all happen and love will make it all easy...

Dont ever take temptations for love... they are temptations... and nothing more... they end after being satisfied... love and marriage has a long way to go...

God bless us all and keep us happy and safe