While making rotis... today a thought made me smile...:)
" May be god must have got angry , cuz i was watching Tv when he called me and i said no i cant come this is so interesting .,..and he asked me again... and then i said wait god i cant come... and he asked me angrily to come and i said... do wat ever u wnat i am not coming... and then he did wat he cud do...
He asked me to leave heaven immediately... and i wud say but God ... and he wud say... u told me to do wat i can i am doing... i am expelling u out of my house... But god... i was busy watching... i wud have answered u juts after it wud have finished... and god said... and wat if it continued forever... u wud not listen to me forever...
i thought for a sec and ... before i cud plead he said... now go... and i started crying... and i said i promise iu wud listen to you... pls dont make me leave this heaven... and you... god please... and then he wud have after seeing me so guilty and truly said on leaving him...
Ok u will have to leave thats decided... but i promise if u will behave urself down there... i will take u up in my arms again...
and i thanked him so much... i promise you god... thank you so much for this cance... and mind u this is last chance... if u tookl it for granted u will never be allowed to enter... and i must have gladly said yes promise... as i was so happy to get one mroe chance... but in my happiness and little thought i didnt know wat i will be facing... and wat kind of ordeal i will be asked to face... and how i will be tempted to do wat god wud be angry at...
And u know wat happened then i was born in this wonderful world... and all was going great until i was asked to enter school... i went in but i faced the first hardship... and i cried the first time... hating my life... then i faced the second challenge... Muharram... and i got my first depression attack... and i wanted to end my life... (which was equivalent to asking god to take m,e back... before i had paid the price of not listening to him, and then but before i cud do something drastic... i was remineded god will not take u back if u do cheating... which is end the sentence before it was time... and so i struggled with the first time ... and wow... after five tough years which seemed endless.. i was again loving my life... like it never happened... and as i started to love life i amost forgot wat i ahd come in this life for...to return to my heaven....:) but thank god... the bad times wud always come and i wud cry my ehart out to god to take me back... and then i got strong... cuz i met my maula... and he introduced me to Imam husain... and with thsoe two wonderful ppl... my trials got less... as evertime i faced a trouble rather then crying to god to take me back end my lfie or heed other weak souls... is trenegthened myself... telling all my problems to them and waiting on them to coem fdor rescue and as promised they wud come to my aid... sometimes soon sometimes late... but they did...a nd then i got used to the phrase called patience... i was then able to step and deny a short fix which was more like a stupid idea and short term , weak solution... and i started to rely heavily on long term fixes which were dependable... and wudnt need changing every now and then...
I am still not sure when this term here will end... but with these excetional lessos learned and tools available... i have nothing to worry abt... and i cant thank god for giving me thsoe cusions... to keep myself warm in cold, protected in hazardous times, strong in difficult times, happy and contented in not so great times... and excited and in love with life in the best most beautiful times... which are so much mroe in comparision to the rest... i am meeting other souls like me... and as i meet them i find a kind of a courage to keep going... and dont mind if meeting god is extended... how else will i ensure... dont miss the good parts of this world...
Hope we meet soon... God... and i learn my lessons so i never forget them again... even if the whole world and that damn satan tempts me with any of his gadgets...:)
So i feel its the same with you... i know if ull come to me cuz u are just to fed up with life and lost... and usnure and want to end it sooner then it shud... u will be still not ready for the forgiveness u deserve... but when ull come after the true penance paid for ur mistakes... and u hurting me and leaving... in such a bad time... may be i will be mroe then happy to receive u and cud ensure... we never be apart again and u never have to leave the peaceful side of me... or me of u...:)
Hope we meet soon... my love... and u learn ur lessons so u never forget them again... even if the whole world tempts you.
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