Psyc Help

So finally i go see the Psychiatrist...

And he is a good looking well composed nice to talk to individual...

He listened and inquired and asked question to made me think...and i felt can i have a crush on him...

Actually i can...but he has a cute manager... so i am confused...:)

I told him my desire to meet Salman Khan... to which he said u think its possible... and i said yes... its highly possible... i am not surprised ur reactions not being one inch different then my parrents except u r more relaxed and calmed... and poised in stating ur concerns... they are a little u know... how parrents and siblings can be...

but

over all not a bad meeting... but yes...while i was talking... suddenly i started paying attention to my hands movement which was pretty awkward... and i forgot wat i was talking so... i just mumbled words... in order for him to know i know wat i am talking... but seriously i had completely forgotten wat i was talking abt... and then i just came to a halt...

so yes it happens... when u start looking at urself and wat u are doing that is amusing...

like my hands seem to have a mind of their own... infact everything in me has a mind of its own...

i am not disclosing names here of the psychiatrist.... he has asked me to join psychotherapy... where he will help me find wat i really want from my life... and how to go abt it...:)

since killing myself isnt that great idea...

i told him if i cud just get to be around salman khan more often... i wud never think of dying... and if he can help me with that... my money will be well used...

may be in the next session i will try bribe him... wats the point of making a new agenda when u already have one...

Right...


I dont think marriage is in my cards... for marriage u need to be in love with one guy... i kind of like every cute guy i come across... and i dont beleive in being judgemental... if i am happy to see u... u have the potential to have my attention and care...no matter if u r in thousands and millions...

u all deserve to be with me...


so in the equation of marriage... this clause is not possible... i need to discuss this with him too...

if he is strong enuf to not go mad... and become one who needs psychiatric help...:)

hope u all are doing better then me...

at times i dont see my being in this world... i mean... merey hissay ka khana pani... hawa... care kisi aur ke kaam bhi to asekti hai...iitney keroron logo mein ik mein na hoti... to kisi ka kya jata...


makes sense no?

Peta nahi when will he understand... and stop making pieces like me even for fun...its not funny anymore...may be ill be a good subject for future movie makers... a girl who cudnt understand her reason to be alive and never ever lived... before she died:)

God (the one i am mad with) bless u all... for he just has a problem with me... and i have a major problem with him... and fight it is which i know i will lose... but then... i dont care wat happens to me... i need answers... justifications...and he has to give them to me... face to face before i will accept any thing.

take care folks...i wish u happiness and love... loads of it!