A Letter i never posted to you:( its too personal...ad he wud kill me, but well those are my feelings..

feel a sinking feeling as i find my love for u... not needed...
u seem to be lost in soemone elses thoughts unheeded

i feel an emptiness inside me when i see ur eyes filled with dreams of her
while i see my heart beats written ur name on them

how do i survive the thought that u arent mine
when i beloeng to noone but u

i will not let myself love another dont force me please
i wud rather stay loving u in ur memories and feelings

but my dreams are bleeded by the pictures of the two of u making it
while i sigh hoping u wud look at my side and acknowledge me... for being there always

waiting to take u in my arms when she leaves u... in anger or hate or distrust...
but i neither can hate u nor can be angry with u nor distrust u....

cuz i love u... more then i love a thing... else

i need to touch the warmth of u... the heat of u the passion of u the lips and to be given a life back...

u stole my heart my soul my dreams... now i am left with nothing but a hope to be with u someday to have to never let u go .

but if ur eyes keep searching her... how my heart will bear that pain...
how cud u not be with me when all i have is u...

so please never come back if i am not what u want...

please never call me or speak to me with those tender words... that make my world go round and my heart skip beats...

dont hug me dont kiss me dont seduce me for i live on those things and feel my self going weak...

pls dont... if u cant with all ur heart... pls dont....

pls dont give me a moment if thats not what u wud want to spend with me...

pls dont give me that smile which u never intented for me

pls dont give me that hope which u never want me to hold on to

pls dont give me that love which u never held for me

u kill me with ur coldness and distant...

u kill me with ur hurt and pain as u crave to be with her

u kill me with that loveless eyes and feelingless expressions and gestures

u kill me with that coolness and aloofness

u kill me when u say i leave u and marry someone esle
u kill me when u say its ur life and i am no part of it

u kill me when u ask me to keep out of ppl who u are connected with

and u leave my world so empty after coming for a while filling it up every nook and corner and then leaving one day cuz u never meant to stay...

and making me bleed for ever...

and i had to make a happy face to keep u from seeing the pain i go through...juts cuz she was there before me...